Encounters between potential partners
Once you've located the person you desire to have sex with, the first
thing you must do is introduce yourself or position yourself in such
a way that he or she will introduce himself or herself to you. But this
isn't as simple as it sounds...
Sexual signals
The communication between people that can lead to a sexual liaison --
are necessarily subtle and complex. An overt declaration, e.g. "I
would like to have sex with you" is more likely than not to be
rebuffed. From early childhood, strategies for successful communication
are learned and honed through practice. Much of this communication is
nonverbal. By adulthood, the subtleties of meeting the eyes of another,
smiling, laughing and flirting have been practiced and learned.
Successful communication
Once a person has taken advantage of opportunities to enter into communication
with a potential sex partner, then the likelihood and speed with which
that communication will lead to sexual intercourse depends on a combination
of cultural norms, the person's desire for a relationship, and skill
at interpersonal communication. A successful communication is one that
goes two ways. Listening well, including picking up on non-verbal cues,
is a crucial skill. Active listening, in which the listener responds
to indicate understanding, is a direct route to successful communication.
The fear of rejection
The fear of rejection is common when trying to befriend a potential
partner. If the participants are both sensitive to the other's signals,
then they can detect quickly whether their sexual objectives are mutual.
If they discover soon enough that their objectives are at odds with
one another, then a conversation can end before either one loses face,
and then each person can seek others with whom to communicate. On the
other hand, if the communication results in an escalating sense of intimacy
for both participants, then a degree of trust is established that mitigates
the fear of rejection.
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